Friday, 15 March 2013

March, you suck!

Happy Friday, Friends!!

If you live in Alberta, Canada as I do then I’m sure you’re about ready to hop on the nearest plane heading to warm sand, blue sea and a temperature above zero. Oh, and of course no snow. Yes, I feel it too and if you’ve purchased a ticket to a sunny destination I envy you. I fit into a normal size suitcase too, just sayin’.
The cold weather here brings grouchy and irritable people. March in Alberta gives a new meaning to winter and because I’ve lived here most of my life I can honestly say I am surprised every year when we get dumped on in what is supposed to be our Spring.

Like the rest of you Albertan’s once March 1st hits my body goes into winter survival mode and I swear I can feel warmer weather coming. I imagine shorts and tank tops and my nose picks up the scent of freshly cut grass.
To my dismay I open my eyes and see white fluffy snowflakes falling outside. In the privacy of my home I fall to the ground wailing, WHY?!?! I pound my fist into the hardwood floor until my body succumbs to exhaustion. I lay there feeling like all hope is lost, my bottom lip quivers and yes, I shed a few tears.
Blast you, March!!!

Where are my flowers, flip-flops and barbequed steaks? Slushes, ice cream, and cold beers don’t taste the same. I want my sun-kissed cheeks, highlights, and bronzed skin back!
Ugh. I am tired of you March. I am sick to death of that white crap outside!

Have you no pity? Do you not see our bright red skin from the frigid weather you have bestowed upon us? The twenty minutes it takes to warm up our cars and the gas we are wasting? You are one of the contributing factors as to why our environment is going to hell!
Bravo March. Once again you have come in like a lion and will go out like an asshole!

My fellow Albertans we must stick together. I am starting a petition to ban this month…who is with me?..... Anyone?..... Buelller?
Okay, I may have jumped the gun, maybe next year. J



No comments:

Post a Comment